New Year New You?

The Hidden Dangers of Too Much Positivity on a New Year

As we start another new year, social media feeds become filled with well-intentioned messages of optimism, resolutions, and the idea that "this year will be the best one yet." It's a time of year where positivity is in abundance, but for some, this constant talk of happiness and success can feel overwhelming and too much. This is toxic positivity.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity refers to the excessive focus on maintaining a positive mindset, even in the face of challenges and tough times. While optimism is generally a healthy and beneficial mindset, toxic positivity goes beyond the helpful and leads to emotional suppression. It can make people feel like they need to hide their struggles, mask their negative emotions, or push through difficult moments without fully acknowledging their feelings.

During the New Year, this phenomenon often intensifies. New Year's resolutions are talked of as a fresh start for self-improvement, but for many, this "new year, new you" mantra can be more draining than empowering. It creates an unrealistic expectation that everyone should be joyful, productive, and at their best from day one.

The Pressure to Be Perfect

Social media platforms amplify the pressure. Along come posts showcasing perfect lives, fitness transformations, and captions such as #NewYearNewMe.

On the surface, these images may seem harmless, but for individuals who are struggling with personal or mental health issues, they can feel like an unattainable standard. The constant bombardment of “good vibes only” often leads people to suppress their natural feelings of uncertainty, fear, or sadness.

This pressure to be perpetually positive can alienate those who are experiencing challenges—be it a difficult breakup, loss of a loved one, financial hardships, or mental health struggles. It tells them that their pain is something to be fixed quickly or hidden away, not something to be understood and processed.

The Harm of Ignoring Negative Emotions

Emotions like sadness, frustration, or grief are natural parts of the human experience. They are not signs of weakness, nor are they things that can (or should) be "fixed" with positivity alone. Toxic positivity can silence these emotions, causing people to feel ashamed or guilty for experiencing them.

When you ignore or deny negative emotions, they don’t simply disappear. They often resurface in unhealthy ways, whether it’s through stress, anxiety, burnout, or even physical health issues. The key to emotional well-being is not to bury negative feelings but to confront and process them in a healthy way.

A Balanced Approach to the New Year

Instead of diving headfirst into the pressure of New Year’s resolutions or adopting an overly optimistic mindset, it’s important to take a more balanced and realistic approach to the transition into a new year.

1. Acknowledge the Hardships: Reflect on the past year with honesty. Recognize the challenges, the emotional highs, and the lows. This doesn't mean dwelling on negativity, but rather accepting your experiences and growth.

2. Set Realistic Goals: Resolutions don’t need to be grandiose or perfect. Aim for small, achievable goals that promote progress, not perfection. These should be goals that resonate with where you are in your life—not goals that are based on societal pressures or comparisons.

3. Allow Room for Imperfection: Life is full of ups and downs. It’s okay not to have everything figured out at the stroke of midnight on December 31st. Embrace the idea that it’s okay to feel uncertain, sad, or even frustrated as you move into a new year. These emotions are valid.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Give yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment. You don’t have to constantly "turn that frown upside down" or force yourself into a cheerful mindset. Be kind to yourself—self-compassion is a much more sustainable way of managing life's difficulties than toxic positivity.

Creating a Culture of Authenticity

As we move into a new year, it’s important to remember that it's okay to be human. Happiness isn't a constant state, and positivity shouldn’t be a requirement for success or self-worth. The real power comes from embracing the full range of human emotions—joy, sadness, frustration, and hope—and allowing ourselves the space to feel, reflect, and grow without the pressure of forcing happiness all the time.

If you're planning on setting goals for the new year, make them about progress, not perfection. And, perhaps most importantly, be gentle with yourself and others who may not be in the place of constant positivity. After all, a meaningful new year begins with authenticity—not just optimism.

The New Year offers a fresh start, but it should also be a time to reflect, process, and set goals that are aligned with your true self. Embrace the idea that it’s okay to not always feel great, and that happiness doesn’t need to be forced to be real.

So, as we embark on this new year, let’s forget the idea that we have to be happy and perfect all the time. Instead, let’s create space for a healthy mix of emotions, acknowledge our challenges, and take small, mindful steps toward the future we want to create.

The problem with resolutions at the start of a new year is that they often put us under pressure to achieve - to start a big fitness regime, to overhaul our diet, to give something up, to be a complete new you. Even just one of those things can feel overwhelming, especially when we've just spent the previous weeks stressing, shopping, and overindulging. Is it really the best time to suddenly shift into big changes?

I've done monthly challenges myself in January , but the important thing is it should be something you want to do, something manageable, and something you find fun or inspiring. It's no good depressing yourself all month giving something up completely and feeling it's a drag.

Remember, you don't have to make a big sudden change.

It's far easier to think about where you want to be and where you are now. Then, set small, short-term, manageable goals. Instead of diving into 2025 with big plans to change your lifestyle, really think about what you actually want to achieve, then consider the steps to get there, rather than thinking you must achieve it straight away - making your plans more likely to fail.

Consider realistic milestones across the weeks and months - small changes can lead to big changes without it seeming so overwhelming.

Most importantly , make sure you are making the changes for you and nobody else. This way, you are far more likely to stick to them.

Claire x

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